Love Comfort Me

(Written for the Safe Haven newsletter, I read over the snippet I put in and felt compelled to share the entire poem)

LOVE COMFORT ME                           10/11/13

This is not the first time before
That I have had to write from a place
Of emptiness
A dullness
It is at these times
I tell myself it is better to simply
Stop
Erase
To not write anything
Just leave it all be

But I think about that one
Who’s listening to me

I think about that unknown reader
The one I’m not even aware of
Or even sure exists
That reads in anticipation
Of what God had to say next
What God wants them to know
As they’re reading this

I consider my attitude
My heart breaks
Being reminded it’s not about self
I do this for God’s sake
I do this for that one
Who’s listening to me
Even when I think they aren’t
So I have to push aside my feelings
Allowing these clouds to part

Forgive me, God

For turning every issue
Every situation
Everything You bring me to
About me
It’s always about me
How I feel
What I want
The singular pronoun
Has a plural occurence

I don’t know what you see in me
Dear reader
But I’m simply doing my best
To bare myself
And all my testimonies

I hope they are of some help

It’s not like before
Not like it used to be
Now when I choose not to write
I feel guilty
I feel ashamed
If a child was starving
And you had food in your hands
You would give it to them
Wouldn’t you?

At least, I would hope you would
I would hope

There are instances like this one
Where I consider blowing it all off
But then it is as if
God allows me to feel what He feels
For His Children
Are wanting
Hungry
Starving for Him

Hungry for His Spirit to come right on in

There is that whisper
I didn’t abandon you
How can you leave a dying man
Knowing I came and saved you?

People are dying
So how dare I stand back
And watch their bodies hit the ground
Dropping like flies
How dare I
Spit on their graves
When I say
I don’t care
It’s not my problem
Anyway

I toss back and forth
Shuffling with the masses
Everyone’s hiding behind
One another
Hoping that when the bomb hits
The person they’re standing next to
Will act as a human shield
Taking all the shards
All the fragments

But when it’s time to ID the corpses
No wants to take the credit
No one wants to step up to the plate
Not for that one
They only claim those
Who still manage to survive
As for the ones that lost their lives
Well
They were an expendable casualty

Ironic
Because that same one
Is me
Someone thought
I was an expendable casualty
And when I was laying there
Gasping for breath
They took one look
And said amongst themselves

Just let her rot
She’ll never come out of this
Anyhow
Anyway if she had just listened
And paid attention
To how we walked
And how we did things
Then she would’ve known to duck

But how can one duck landmines?

When the bombs are planted
And the only ones who know where they are
Refuse to open their mouths
To give warning
To say something
Holding tightly to the map
But won’t show the rest
Where exactly to go
And where to step
Then what is the result?

God tells me
I gave you a map
The key is hidden
Within your poetry you have
People
Walking
Shuffling
Simply trying to make it through the crowd so
How
Dare you
And who are you
To keep it all to yourself?

Do you not remember where I found you
When you were all alone?

He found me
Bleeding out in a dead zone
And now I’m upright
Breathing and living
And He knew I would even lead people
To the very light
That gave me life
I
Am
Sorry

I am sorry
For not putting more effort
Into this for You
And for you
Dear reader
I am sorry

My prayer for you
Is

That when you read these poems
You don’t see me
You don’t hear me
You hear God
And that He speaks to your mind
Your soul
And your heart

And I pray that you will know
That His love is for you is real

His love for you
Is so strong
That He can take someone like me
To bring you
His child
Home

He loves you
He never left
He was with you all along
He was with you
He’s still there with you now
God loves you
You will forever be

His love
His child

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2 thoughts on “Love Comfort Me

  1. I enjoy your poetry . Stay with it , it’s a great express able art form , very much from the soul. I like when people share from their soul it’s has depth.

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