Obliterating Obstacles

I can remember a time
At one point
Where I said I was tired of crying
Through with being a cry baby
All that jazz, you know
I’m still tempted to do that
Even now at this very moment
I can feel the hot streaks
The tears streaming down
But this time
No tears are coming out
Maybe because my anger is too fierce
And my pride is too strong

But the pain buried within my chest
Is fresh and it’s very real

I am tempted to weep
To let the tears come spilling out
Not because my enemy won
But because God won’t let me do
What it is I want to do

And what I want to do
Is give each person who rubs me
The wrong way
A piece of my mind
Tell them what I really think of them
Go off so far left
You’d almost think I was right
Yet still
My heavenly Father knows I’d be wrong
“Stop thinking, My child,
You have to get the one up on people.
I don’t know how many times
I can say it.”

Lord knows He’s told me
Over and over again
Nobody’s getting over on you
When you serve an all-knowing God
Nobody, no one

I’m learning
When God raises the standard
The devil tries ever harder
To attack you all the more
But I’m learning
You have to listen
You have to pay attention
In order to win this race
Because it’s not about how graceful
Or how swift you ran
But if you finished

God knows I’m angry
I don’t like being the bigger person
In all honesty
If being small means getting the upper
–hand
Then I’d rather take that
Than to sit and endure
But in this I have to remember
There is a way that seems right
Yet leads to death
And when you choose to be tiny
The only one who wins
Is Satan
So Lord God,
I pray You forgive me
For settling to be less than
What You’ve made me to be

You said I’m bigger
Than trifle tiffs and spats
I’m greater
Than minuscule things that
Trigger the ugliest stuff in me
But most importantly
You are God
You are able to help me move
–mountains
That seem impossible
No way it can’t be done

But even this shall pass
This mountain too shall be moved
I won’t stand for it
Lord,
I’ve neglected You for too long
I’m running back to You
The real issue is me
And I see it right now
There is fear rattling my bones
But I know You can raise the overcomer
Up out of me
You’ve done it
Time and time before

I trust You Lord,
I trust You

Now I’m going to step back
And let You do
What You do

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