Cleaning Out the Attic XIV

(Just one more now. Here’s another untitled piece on how growth is very important in your walk with God. You should be increasing in your relationship with Him, not withering away.)

UNTITLED

We proclaim who we claim
But then,
Eventually, after while
We stop lifting up His name
Yet we say
We still trust Him
We’re still for Him

God reminds me
That all faith starts off
As a mustard seed
But mustard seeds grow into trees
Mighty, majestic, tall

So,
He asks,
Why is your faith
Still so small?

I could make up
A hundred and one excuses
But then I think
What’s the point in all that?
Let’s just get straight to it

I got bored with God
Somewhere along the way
And as I say that
I hear the words to a poem I wrote
Being repeated back at me,
“…if you think that God is boring
Then you not livin’ it right.”
I have not been living this thing
The right way

I improvise
Quite often
I make improvisations
When I don’t have to
Because the Word of God
Is right there in front of me
Problem is
I only read
When I feel compelled to

Or convicted

Either way
That’s not how this thing
Was designed to be
I know God’s got something
Great
Out in store for me
I do believe
But I’ve gotten too comfortable

Could this possibly be the reason
For why I allow sin in my life?
Possibly—it just might
I call myself looking for some excitement
Get as close to death as possible
Without fully kissing it on the lips
Forgetting
Everybody’s gotta die
Sooner or later
It’s the death after the death
That I don’t want to play with

I neglect to remember these things

And still
Though it does slip my memory
I constantly get bombarded
With reminders
From God
Through other people
And things
That I am His daughter
I am a child of the King
THE King
Name Above All Names
And besides Him
There is none greater
Not even me

I wonder
Constantly
Is this
Is this all I will ever be,
Is this all for me, Lord

I desire a grander scale
With good intentions
But for the wrong reasons
Which leads me to think
That if my reasons are wrong
Then maybe so is my intent

Faith
It goes way beyond
What you claim
It’s how you live
Not just how you look
But by your spiritual
Inner man’s appearance

We all have wobbles
From time to time
But no man should teeter totter
So much
That God questions their commitment
Due to lack of

And I say to myself,
Asking Him,
Lord
What is it I lack
And the Lord responds
“That, Daughter,
Is a question only you can answer.”

See,
A lot of times
We know exactly what the answer is
But we seek God hoping
For an answer we hope to get instead

And the truth is
I got bored
Because I was comfortable
In barely knowing Him
I feared the work
Knowing that
I’ll still be getting to know Him
Well off into old age

But that’s what happens
When you’re a know-it-all
You think you know everything
And when you come across something
That challenges this belief
Making it out to be untrue
Then suddenly you find yourself
Wanting nothing to do with it
You don’t want to fool with it anymore

God
I think
I just didn’t want to fool with You
Anymore
But I still come to You
Because knowing
What my life was like without You
Is a misery I cannot go through again

My faith wavers
But yet I stand
Resolute

Looks like I’ve got some watering to do

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