Blatantly Blunt (Poem)

(It’s been a minute since I’ve posted anything on here, so here you are. Here’s a poem I wrote for the Safe Haven newsletter. For the first time in my life, I wanted to quit doing the very thing I’ve always loved to do: writing. I found myself sending out an S.O.S to my friends and the Calvary surrounded me—they told me what I needed to hear. If you ever feel like giving up on your passion, or if you have given up, then I pray this poem inspires you to remember your purpose and to see it through. Don’t quit, don’t give up.)

BLATANTLY BLUNT

These days
I feel as though I have
A meaningless gift
A talent
I can do
Nothing with
Except make people smile
And receive the occasional
Compliment
I’m starting to believe
What those naysayers said

That writing
Is a waste of time
And I should find
Something else to do
To throw it away
Is what I’m tempted to do
So God,
Please
Send me a reminder
Because I
Am tired

I keep getting suggestions
All these great ideas
But no idea as to how to
Put them into action
I feel stuck
I feel worthless

I stare up at ceilings
And spend countless minutes
That become hours
Wondering
What am I doing with my life?
Why do I even bother?
So God
If You could
Please, say something
To me, Your daughter
And bring to my attention
Why I even do what I do

I begin to question
Why do I even do this?
It’s not like they’re reading it
Anyway
They won’t buy my book
I’ve already tried that
They won’t even share
My Facebook page
Barely anyone
Comes out to my events

I know
It’s bigger than me
It’s just that sometimes
I get the sense that this
Is too big for me
So I rather hand it all over
To someone else
And spend the rest of my days
Dreaming about something
I am beginning to believe
Will never happen
Because at least when I dream
It’s a reality
Even if it’s only made up

Jesus
I am asking You,
Begging You to
Please
Remind me
Why is it
That I do what I do

Why did You give me this gift
To write?
Why did I fall in love with it?
Why do I love it so much
Lord,
What is the point in all this?
God, what is the point?
“Saying, Father, if thou be willing,
remove this cup from me:
nevertheless not my will, but thine
be done.”

A friend reminded me today
That there is purpose in your pain
That’s why Jesus stayed on that cross
So though it seems hopeless right now
And the dream appears to be
Miles and miles away
I will hold on to the vision
And will continue to say

Nevertheless
Not my will, Father
But Your will
Be done

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