Word Challenge Day 31

(The last day of the month’s word challenge topic is, “Describe yourself without mentioning the physical or superficial.” I was confused on the superficial part, so I just did my best to describe parts of my life that I feel have made me who I am and describe me. I had to cut it short because it would end up being on the long side, but this is what I got:)

WORD CHALLENGE DAY 31: COLLAGE

Barney
Sesame Street and
Lamb Chop’s Play Along
Scribbling scribbling scribbling away
Scribbling writing all the do long day
Dragon Ball Z
And Wishbone
Oh yeah,
Can’t forget—Reading Rainbow
Box Car Children
Baby Sitter’s Club
I HATE CHRISTIANS
Jesus?
He ai-ight…I guess
Candy Apple Red!
LL Cool J
And O-Town
Brian McKnight too, but only when he sings
OOO! Saxophone!
Well, flute it is
AeroSmith and Gwen
“I’m just a girl…!”
Oh, Rock music is White people music?
Oops.
In that case,
Ludacris, Paul Wall, Lil’ Jon
Trina, David Banner, Foxy Brown
Throw some chop’n screw on this thang
MAEN!
Hol’ up but for real tho?
AWREADY that’s wha’ssup!
I ain’t goin’ to Prairie View…!
Classes start when? Oh. Ok.
Financial Aid…LAWD Jesus help me
4-point-WHAAAT?
ALGEBRA…THEA?
Babysitting a one year old
I feel alone…
No friends…
I’m drowning, I can’t keep up
Jesus, seriously, help me
God help me
Lord I’m sorry if You could just please
PLEASE
Help me…
Denomination?
I just love Jesus man, like seriously
God’s people are AWESOME
Now them CHURCH people on the other hand…
Sorority? Pledge? Oh I’ll never do that
SIGMALAND HERE I COME! EEEEE-YIP!
I lost my scholarship?
Fs, 1 A, 1 C
Fs, 1 A, 1 D
Fs, 1 C, 1 D
Fs….1 D
And another semester of Fs again
College ain’t for everybody
Jesus, what You mean go register?
“Dear Prairie View,” GIMME MY DEGREE!
MAMA I MADE IT!
Yes, I’m sure that’s my ethnicity
But are YOU sure cuz I don’t know of
—any 1st generation African Americans
With last names like Jones and Smith…?
So you like writing, eh Niece?
Maybe your brothers will pick it up, too?
Bleach–the Anime
Poetry all day baby
No thanks, I stopped eating candy
Like…a year ago?
Cancer and Year of the Dragon come get you
—some!
YAAAAAS!
KAA YAAAAAS!
Kamp spelled with a K oh YAS!
Tiger lilies are beautiful, aren’t they?

Absolutely beautiful…

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Confession Time!

I’ve started doing my own personal confessions behind my book To Whom It May Concern (testimonies, things I’ve discovered about myself while working on this project, etc.) and I’m putting them up on my Facebook page: Jacqueline Sìmone Poetry.

Here’s my first confession (the second one is up now,)

“Confession: Sometimes I start to get tired and restless or begin buying into the feeling that I’m wasting my time and the book won’t do well. I eventually get back to editing and working on it, and every single one of those poems remind me what I’m doing isn’t a waste because my letter poems have helped people. It has touched them and therefore what I’m doing isn’t in vain—it’s worth it, not worthless.”

Little Lady Smile

(Snippet: “Little Lady Smile,” from To Whom It May Concern.)

To follow along with the countdown, follow me on Instagram: @jssberry and read the confessionals on my FB page: Jacqueline Sìmone Poetry

#StayTuned

Word Challenge Day 24 (Poem)

(I was away from my computer over the weekend, which is why I didn’t do days 21-23, but I’m glad to be back at it. Today’s prompt, “Write a note to the person that hurt you the most.”)

WORD CHALLENGE DAY 24: BECOMING

Almost 28 now
And I can hear your whispers
Feel your stares
“You’re not good enough,” you say
“Just give up—
You have failed, anyway,”
“You’re a let down,
You’re nobody,
You’re such an embarrassment!
You ought to be ashamed!”

And it is because of you
That I have hid my face
Clamoring for the shadows
Grasping for some sort of hiding place
Every time someone new approaches
I don’t trust anyone
In my mind you have planted the strong
—belief
That I have no friends
I have no talent,
“I don’t care what they say—
You’re a hack.”

Yet still,
I pick up a pen
And exercise my God given gift
To say

You will no longer run my life
You will not hold me back anymore

Most days
I hear the gun go off
Signaling for the start
And I feel your hands
Holding me down
Keeping me in place
And I can’t move

But not today

For too long I let you have your way
I cowered in fear of you as a child
But I boldly proclaim
Because of the Savior who lifts me up
That you won’t win—no, no
Not today, not anytime soon

God showed me
I AM a competitor
That it isn’t that I CAN’T do it
But simply that I won’t
Because I believed the lies you fed me
Over all these years
That I couldn’t

So now I’m here
Staring you down in the mirror
To your face
To say

You LIED

You told me no one loves me
No man would ever want me
That I’m ugly—I’m hideous
I’m too small, too light skin
Too weak
You made me believe
That every friend I had was an enemy
That my life was worthless
And twice before
Had me think life was not worth
Living
Said there was no point in me
Ever going to college
I was stupid, too dumb to ever make it
And I would never get accepted anyhow

You broke me…
But thank God for restoration
Because He repaired
Everything you destroyed in me
He replaced
All the hope you took
And now
When I look at you
All I can do is smile because

No matter what you,
Or anyone else comes whispering
Into my ears,
I now know
I’m better than any of those things
You said I was,
Still say I am
I am greater than all of those things

I am resilient
I am fearless
No, “Woman hear me roar,”
More like a warrior on the loose
With nothing left to lose
Because in Jesus
All I EVER do is win
I WIN
I’VE WON
You hurt me, yet you still lost

And I’d like to bet
You thought you had me bested
And I am sure
That I have yet to see you
Do your worst
But you know what?

The same can be said for me

You haven’t seen the last of me
Yes, I do bleed
And I cry
Even on days like today

But I still race
To break the tape
Because there’s a parade being held
In my honor
Just on the other side
Therefore I press towards the mark
I don’t care if I have to drag you
I’ll run so hard and so fiercely
That I’ll shake you off and leave you
—in the dust

I AM more than an overcomer
Because of He who overcame for us

You don’t scare me
Taunt me all you want, but
You don’t scare me at all
No more, no longer

Word Challenge Day 20 (Poem)

(I wanted to post this up last week, but just ran out of time. The day’s topic was, “Describe a color without using its name.” I plan to expound on this eventually because there’s so much I want to say, but this is how I will leave it for now.)

WORD CHALLENGE POEM DAY 20: RIVALRY

I would see you
And find myself infuriated
Your people within the system
Came down
To my school
And infiltrated
Destroying decades of history
Taking away
Traditions
Held dear to us
You methodically took away
A culture
And rid of anyone else
Associated with it
To give birth to what I see now
Stereotypes
And the obliviously entitled
Self-righteous and wanna be rebels
Although
I can’t blame you for everything
It is undeniable
That a hate is there
And I have had to learn
To let go
To stop looking intolerably at my own
For choosing to walk around your campus
Wearing you
Sporting you around
Like it’s something to be proud of
I have had
To learn to do what my alumni have done
Consistently over the years
Take the pieces we’ve been given
And build absolute monuments
All the while
See people watching in amazement
Scratching their heads
And wondering
How on earth we did it
How did we manage to still survive
When all we had left were scraps
And though we are given black eyes
Yet again
We continue to press forward
Sporting bruises and scratches
When crossing a stage to hear whispers
Like,
“Oh,
You went to THAT school,”
Then surpass the mockers and hear,
“Wait, you went to THAT school?”

I don’t like you, but I have learned
To respect you
All the same
Gig ’em, gig ’em, gig ’em
It makes no difference to me
I will continue to strive to be the best
In my lane
While being the most productive panther
And amazing HBCU representative
I can be