June Word Challenge: Day 29

(The prompt for today’s challenge was to record yourself reading a poem, narrative or informational piece and then watch the playback, then share what things you noticed: the sound, feel of it, the rhythm or noticeable patterns, etc. The poem I decided to record was Vanity [Rewrite] and I true to form I chose to write a poem on what I took in while watching it.)

JUNE WORD CHALLENGE DAY 29: (E)MOTIONLESS

Huh…
That’s funny

I always thought
In my mind at least
That I was able to convey
The message I was sending
In my poetry
However
Watching the playback
It is almost as if
I have no real expression
Unless my whole body is thrust into it

It’s like somehow
When my poems are spoken
They require full participation
“Now, now, Jacqueline,
You can’t do this sitting down.
You’ve got to get up
And go all in!
Come on—go for it!”

Ironically,
While the only thing moving
Is my body from all the fidgeting,
And my lips to reveal teeth
As I speak
And an occasional smile
When I stumble over reading words
I wrote… (ugh)
In conversations I am always,
Always,
ALWAYS
Having to be aware of my facial expressions
Especially if someone says something
I absolutely don’t like
Without saying a word
My face will tell them,
“Negro please.”
And
“I really don’t care for you at the moment.”

Perhaps,
It’s because I naturally allow my feelings
To go unrestrained
But when reading my works out loud
My words and my feelings are all somehow
Contained
Because I concentrate so intensely
On making sure I say the words
Correctly

Only to come to the conclusion
That I mess up on cold readings anyway

I’ll have to break out of that mold
Of sitting there
Staring at the theater kids
For choosing to be a loon
Be a fool
In front of everyone, staring
Everyone’s staring

I’m a fool if I mess up
And I’m a fool if I don’t
Therefore, I guess,
I may as well join in.

Word Challenge Day 7 (June)

(Today’s topic: if you were an animal, what would you be? Why?)

WORD CHALLENGE DAY 7: SPEEDY

My patience
Would equate to that of a cheetah
In a full out dash
But my life
Is pretty much that
Of a turtle

A graceful, fast-paced mammal
Trapped
Inside this sluggish,
Awfully slow
Ridiculously behind everybody else
Tragically predestined
Body

Every year I look up
And it seems like
Every person I know
Is blowing right past me
No one asked me to the prom
I went by myself
I wasn’t checkin’ dudes like that
Anyway
Until I was nearing Senior year
Late bloomer
Go to college
Can’t seem to keep up
I graduated
But can’t seem to get a job
And now those girls who had dates
Yeah
All of them are just about married now
Me?
I’m still waiting on that first dat—wow

God,
I’m still waiting on that first date
Still waiting on that first day
I write my first best seller
I want to have my own apartment
So I don’t have to keep livin’ with my mama
Lord,
I just wanna have my OWN

Yeah,
I keep looking up
And everyone else is lookin’ back
Like
Man but where you been at?
And where they do that?
What’s taking you so long?
Ain’t you ‘pose to be up here already?
HOW old are you again?
Get with the program chick!

(I’m moving as fast as I can here, people)
But my life is like a turtle
That’s why I’ve got a heart for slow moving
—creatures
From snails to sloths
I know what it feels like
When you’re giving it all you’ve got
And people still critique your pace
And you put on the smiles
But deep down you’re wondering
If you should just stay in place

And that’s when He tells me,

I’m sorry, Jacqueline
I’m sorry none of the guys asked you out
I’m sorry you fell behind the pack
And they left you to fend for yourself
But all their lives are over
Yours has barely just begun
I’ve got plans for you, Daughter
I’ve got plans
If you could just learn
To make your patience and your temperament
Match your movement…
Yes, you’re dragging along
But you’re moving
And I’ve got you
Stop worrying
It’s not time for the house and the husband
With 2.4 children
And a book deal on the way
I’ve already made the way
Just walk in it
Have faith

So,
I’m a turtle
My steps are staggered
Lallygagging and lethargic
And sometimes
I manage to pick up my shell
And blaze off

Well…
I mean, blazing in the sense of fast
For a turtle at least
Like I said
I’m moving as fast as I can
Give me a break here
But I won’t complain
Much
Even when they do
Especially when they do
I think the Lord made me like this
Just so I could purposely break the rules
Break the mold
I’m unordinary
Off-center
But still in line to hit the target

Quick-lived but short end
Nah bruh, that ain’t me
Taking it slow, enjoying the moment
And growing in the meantime
Yeah buddy—better believe it!

You better believe it

Nearing the 10 Day Mark…

The time is closing in for me to release my book To Whom It May Concern. I’ve posted my last confession on my Facebook page: Jacqueline Sìmone Poetry and I’ll be working to get out some promo videos for the last ten days of the countdown.

Here’s my last personal confession (you can read it in its entirety on my page:)

At the beginning of this, I didn’t think I had anything to say. As time goes on, I’m coming to find I have a lot more to say than I thought and it’s my responsibility to speak up. If God put it on my heart to give back to His people, and I choose silence, then the blood is now on my hands. When people’s souls are at stake I can’t afford to keep my mouth closed. For their sakes, I need to give them the message Jesus has for them to hear.

IMG_1354

(Snippet: “Wilted Flowers: Roses”)

I’ve also posted a couple of photos taken the day of the shoot:

Lionel_Video Shoot

Taken and shot by: Lionel Mosby Jr., Light Break Media

TWMC_Notebook Shot

I have no idea what God has in store, but I’m so excited for the future and what all He has for me, His people and beyond.

#ToWhomItMayConcern

06.19.16

#StayTuned

June Word Challenge

(I missed yesterday’s word challenge and I try to steam ahead to the current one in the poetry group. Today’s topic: Imagery. Describe your experience eating your favorite piece of fruit or describe your experience watching someone else eating your favorite fruit.)

TROPICAL FRUIT

The tart sweetness
Always brings me back to my childhood
When I would devour
Every little piece
Savoring each moment with glee
And then drain the juice dry

Fireworks
Explosions on my the tip of my tongue
My tastebuds
Discording something
They could never get tired of
It stamped itself
Into my mind
Permanently branding itself
As the favorite

As a child
I didn’t really know
What a favorite was
Until I discovered
Its crunchy
Delectable allure
The fresh ones you find in the store
Permeate as soon as you cut them
Causing my heart to pound with glee
And the ones in the can
Don’t bother me
That metallic smell,
The opening of the seal
Brings back the feverous excitement
I felt
Oh so long ago
As if it was only just yesterday
When I found out

Pineapples
Are the best things
I have ever eaten
In my entire life